Right Now aka Come as you are

Linked from Mommy Pie to Sweetney, me at work, listening to Oh Yoko:

 

Pushing the limits

I think I’ve stressed enough that I don’t want my 13 yo unsupervised at other kids’ homes.  I’ve stressed to her that she can’t have friends over when I’m not there.  This is a dead horse, right? 

Wednesday was her last day of school, and I agreed to let her stay at her friend’s house since another girl was there too.  I asked her whether they would be unsupervised on Thursday, because if that was the case, something needed to be arranged.  I was told that this girl’s parents were driving the other girl home on Thursday, so they could drive her too, and I requested that they bring her here to my work.  The problem was, I never spoke to the parents directly myself.

9:30 Thursday morning, Amy calls me.  Her friend’s parents were at work. *Big Audible Mommy Sigh*  I was told that the alarm was on, they were locked in the house, blahblahblah.  I waited until I got off work and picked her up first.  What I found was my daughter and her friend across the street from the house, rounding up the dogs that had gotten out, practically running in front of another car to catch these critters.  She told me the door had gotten stuck and when they tried to fix it the dogs got out.  Can you see my exasperation here?

Now, we don’t live in the “city” anymore.  But is it really inevitable / acceptable at her age to have a group of them unattended.  When I was her age, I was allowed to babysit at nights, so I know I was unattended in other people’s houses.  And I do remember occasionally having a friend over to help.  So am I being old-fashioned? 

We had another long conversation last night, where I told her that I felt like she had avoided giving me complete details to ensure permission to go.  I want to believe her that she didn’t know the complete story, and that if she was trying to get away with something, she wouldn’t have called me as soon as she woke up to tell me there were no grownups there.  And being that I didn’t speak to an adult myself, I couldn’t exactly place the entire blame on her.

There was no “punishment” dished out.  It was a frustrating situation and I’ll be a more vigilant parent in the future.  But I still am on the fence about what kind of boundaries and freedoms my 13 yo should be allowed.  It’s the line between overprotective and permissive parenting I, probably along with many other single parents, struggle with.