Brick

Here’s what I would like:  I would like to have the ability to make friends without the paranoia that they will use me.  I would like to be able to drop my guard every once in a while.  A few years ago, I came to the realization that I was not in a good enough *place* to be in a relationship, and that I should really learn to live by myself, to rely only on myself and not a relationship on which to build my self-esteem.  I have taken that mentality and made it into a cage.  I know I’m better, deep down.  But the further I drill into my *issues* the more afraid I am of poisoning people that could care about me.  The wall I have created to protect others is now too tall for me to see out, and little by little, I’m pulling the bricks down again.  This blog in its most recent stage, are those bricks.