One syllable

Olderbeast has been playing way too much Harry Potter lately, to the point where the spell names come up in conversation.

However…and she even asked me not to tell anyone about this one, but I just can’t resist…if you lose a syllable saying, “Carpe Retractum,” you can very easily bring your mom to tears, laughing so hard.

I had to stop laughing long enough to explain why she shouldn’t go around shouting, “Carpe Rectum!”

 

Well, he’s from Texas too!

Notice the similarity?

Daddy needs to take his daughter potty

This bit of parenting advice has set my brain a’going. Dr. Ruth Peters questioned five pediatricians to get their opinion on what to do when Daddy has to take his smaller daughter potty somewhere without a family potty. The consensus was for him to take her in the mens’ room, shielding her from the urinals.

So, as I mentioned, I started thinking, because this idea does not sit well with me. Why not have him take her in the womens’ room instead? We do our business with the doors shut, and generally keep the potties cleaner.

But then I started seeing myself as not necessarily the mom here, but a random potty-goer. Would I be creeped out by having a man and a little girl in a stall next to me? What if I didn’t have any children of my own?

So many things to think about, and none of it really affects me, given that I’m a single mom, and my daughter is now perfectly capable of a solitary excursion to a public restroom.

What are your thoughts?

My head is going to essssplode!

I can’t sleep from the stupid asthma meds, and the allergy/upper respiratory thing is causing so much pressure that I swear my ears are going to start leaking! I just want to sleeeeeeeep. Last day of the fiscal month is tomorrow, and we’re down half a department, and here I am about four hours before my alarm is supposed to go off. I’m so fucked

Hey comic geeks

I need some help. I’m trying to find the artist here. I had the site saved on my computer, but I’m still on a loaner since I’m too lazy to replace the power supply:

I had done the crop a couple years ago, and I’m pretty sure the artist had at least a web comic, but I can’t remember. Anyway, I ask because digging for a older pic of Brody, I found this one of Amy from last year.

It’s almost like they have the same look.

Toilet Paper review

Yes, I’m serious.

We tried out the Cottonelle for Kids  toilet paper, since it was on sale. That, and the beasts were with me saying, awww, what a cute puppy!

OK, the concept is pretty cool. There’s a pic of the cute puppy every few sheets, with paw prints in between, to teach them how much paper to use.

Potty training a boy, it’s kinda useless. He wants to wipe each time he pees, and the suggested amount is way too much for that. (Poor thing, being raised with only females!) It’s ok for other potty activities, but I’ve found that we’re wasting a bit much.

According to their website, the inks are safe for the skin. But let me give you my experience – it’s damn scary. I wipe, I glance, and think, wtf? Why is my pee tinted brown. Then I realized it’s the stupid dog. And you’d think after a whole package I would get used to wiping my butt with something that cute, but it still creeps me out.

This is also giving a new meaning to me about smelling like a wet puppy dog. It’s too much for me.

Anyway, you get fewer sheets than regular cottonelle, so I have a feeling, despite the bazillions of coupons they tossed in the package, that’s the end of the peepee puppy in my house.

Mythology peeps?

Miss Amy was wondering if mermaids hatch from eggs. I have no clue, but it would seem logical to me. Anyone?

More hag ramblings

This morning, I was not so gently shaken from a decent by mother nature. Bitch. After I accepting that I have again not hit menopause, and changing the sheets, I finished off the last fifty pages of I Am Not Myself These Days, by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. I really enjoyed it for the record. Especially the Blues Clues bit.

Still not able to go back to sleep, I go fishing on-demand to see what might pique my interest. Last week, I attempted to watch Sling Blade, but that just didn’t work. I finally did get the opportunity to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind without interruption, and loved almost every second of it. To me, it was *much* better than Being John Malcovich. Since they took QAF off on-demand, and all the L Word epis I don’t necessarily want to rewatch, I was at a loss. Nothing really new on Food TV…any movie will be interrupted by an awakening beast…not in the mood for cartoons.

I found the documentary on Rosie O’Donnell’s cruise. Some friends of mine and their daughter went on it the second year, and I was so jealous. This was done the first year, so I could abandon the idea of catching a glimpse. I only got part of the way into when I started crying intermittantly. There were all these dads, so proud of their kids. All these dads that had faced whatever came down the pipes to have their kids and keep them. Moms and dads trying to hard to protect their rights, and keep their kids with them and safe, and look what I see every day.

There’s a little girl that goes to Brody’s baby sitter. I saw her mom for the first time the other day, young, dressed very trendy, fire-engine red streaks in her hair. If she wasn’t so damn skinny it would have reminded me of me ten years ago. This was also the sitter’s daughter’s birth mom. She knew she couldn’t take care of another, and knew that our sitter was the best person in the world to raise her child. But what’s sad, is that her daughter shows up at the sitter’s in dirty clothes, last night’s diaper, crusty hair. A friend of the sitter has even suggested to the girl that she let the sitter adopt this sweet girl too, but it doesn’t look like that will occur.

To top it all off, the show had me feeling bad about yesterday. Realistically, I know my beasts won’t be perfect kids, and they will drive me up the wall many days, but I also know I’m so damn lucky to have them in my life. Despite all the whining.

Great mother of Hell!

My head hurts and I don’t like my kids right now! They are making noises, just for noise’s sake.

The boy has lied to me twice today. The girl is on a smear campaign to have me redirect my headache at the boy.

Example – the boy wakes me up this morning and says, My Pullup is dry! I start the celebratory dance, and send him to pee. He comes back, in the same pullup, did not pee in the potty, and the pullup is cold and soaked.

Example – the girl keeps asking why the boy smells like mommy’s perfume?

Example – the girl says, there are puzzle pieces under the table! Brody, do you know where these came from? (To his benefit, he looked at her and said, my puzzle.)

Example – the boy is whimpering on the chair, because he’s afraid of an imaginary ant. Hiding on the chair saves him from picking up his toys on the floor.

Shall I continue?

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I think I should stop watching Queer As Folk right before I try to go to sleep.

Last night, I dreamt I was part of an intervention for Mel for anorexia. That woman is too damn skinny I tell you!